thanks-giving

This year the holiday looked different: instead of packing our bags to travel home, we were dusting shelves and mopping floors. My parents arrived first on Thanksgiving morning, then my brother and his fiance, then two of my work-family: Cathy and Jesse. We cooked, baked, ate, laughed, reminisced, ate again, cleaned, relaxed, and were satisfied.

I loved entertaining, cooking the meal for the first time, and getting to be part of two peoples first thanksgiving (both originally from Taiwan). It was wonderful staying in the home we have been blessed with, and getting to create memories.

What a fantastic weekend.

Now back in the routine of life. I am two weeks from finishing another semester of English classes. I feel as if I was just complaining of being without my friends and students, and am close to singing that same sad tune again.

There is a fear that creeps in with the thought of an empty slot in my Monday-night schedule. A fear of how I'll spend my time and wondering if it'll be as fulfilling. I already look forward to spring, new faces and old lesson plans.

And so the cycle repeats...

Sometimes I just dream about going. I want to travel the world in the most unconventional ways and see it from the ground up. I want to live it, experience it with no help, no assistance...I want to climb it's winding roads with aching joints, worn out shoes, and an eager spirit.

Often I loath the things that tie me down. I am bound by things that will not last and will not keep. I am fenced in by my own expectations.

And I'm not sure how you approach this discontent... It's just one more hurdle keeping me here.